Take that Alexander!

I'm sure by now we all know that Alexander had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I get it--I do. But I think, today, just this once, I have him beat.

It didn't start off that way. Quinn actually slept until 7, which was wonderful. We got up, ate breakfast and did all of our normal morning stuff. It started going downhill a bit when Quinn got up from her nap. She's got some of her top teeth coming in and they are giving her a heck of a time. Needless to say, she woke up in a fury. So, to try to calm her down, I put her in her high chair and gave her some Cheerios. And this is where it all falls apart.

As I'm sitting in the dining room with Quinn, I look out in the yard and see Darby (the dog) thrashing around on the ground. To put my reaction in perspective, you should understand that the dog is epileptic. So in my head, I think she is having a seizure. I grabbed my keys to unlock the deadbolt (we have the kind with they key slot on both sides) and darted outside to check on her. Moron dog was fine. She was rolling in a mud puddle. Great... now I have to bathe her.

As I walk back up to the house, I realized that I'd left my keys in the deadbolt. I immediately freaked out because Rory has been known to lock the doorknob--I always take my keys out with me. Well, today, she locked the deadbolt. I knocked on the door and tried to get her to open the lock. After about 3 minutes of that, I reached in my pocket (thank HEAVENS I had my cell phone in my pocket) and googled the closest locksmith. I told them what was going on (all the while trying to direct Rory on how to turn the key)and she said they'd be here in 15 minutes.

At this point, I called Nathan. While I was on the phone with him, the reality started to sink in a bit and I may have started crying a bit. That's about when Quinn ran out of Cheerios and started screaming her head off. So, I got off the phone and started trying to give Rory better directions for getting in the house. She was struggling to reach the deadbolt enough to turn it all the way back around, so I told her to grab a chair. It should be said that the chairs are, oh, about 2 feet from her. But, alas, my little 2 year old disappears into the kitchen and reappears in the living room, where she flings her stuffed animals off of her rocking chair and proceeds to drag the chair--across the living room, through the kitchen, and back around to the dining room. She climbed up on the chair, tried for a bit to turn the lock, but got frustrated. So what did she do? She just sat down in her little chair and started rocking--all the while looking straight at me. Punk!

I took a break and ran around to double check the rest of the doors and windows. No dice. By the time I got back, Rory had caught a second wind and started playing with my key chain again. Right when I think we are on the right track, she hit the panic button on my key chain and set the car alarm off. And it proceeded to go off for about 2 minutes before she figured out where the button was to turn it off. BUT.. it gave me a GREAT idea. I had a spare set of keys in the car. I immediately turned all of my attention to getting her to start hitting buttons on the key fob, hoping she'd unlock the car. When I saw her hit the right one, I darted down the porch, through the gate and to the car. 1) because I was afraid she'd turn around and hit the lock button, and 2) because my car relocks itself if you don't get in it fast enough. Thankfully I got my keys and ran back and let myself in the house--almost 20 minutes after the whole thing started. Poor Quinn had been screaming the whole time.

I was supposed to be meeting a friend shortly after that, so after calling Nathan and the locksmith (who was still 10 minutes away... ggrr) I got the girls ready and headed out of the house. I had a nice break from the suckiness of the morning while I was hanging out with Heather. That was, until, I went home.

As soon as I walked in the door, I realized that Darby wasn't in the house. So I went to the backyard to let her in. But she wasn't there. Apparently, when I was running from the backyard to my car during the lockout incident, I didn't shut the gate and Darby ran out. At that point I broke into panic mode. I started checking closets and bathtubs around the house hoping I was wrong. I started shaking around her food container (this is a parallel to the incident where Patrice's cat Sam got out and Patrice was opening food containers around the house, though I was a little less pathetic) and yelling for her. It was about then that I realized that after we moved, we'd never updated our information on her collar. I called my old cell phone number to leave a message for whoever had the number now letting them know what happened and giving them my new number. After that, I just sat down on the stairs and started blubbering like an idiot. Rory walked over and said "Where's my Darby? My Darby is lost. Where's my buddy?" It was heartwrenching, but a good reminder that I needed to be the adult in the situation. So we got in the car to drive around looking for her. As I was putting the girls in the car, a neighbor (that I didn't know) pointed me in the direction they had last seen here. I headed that way and THANK HEAVENS a group of kids that is ALWAYS outside had picked her up and brought her into their house so she couldn't run off any more.

As soon as the older boy went to get her, she ran out of the house straight to me. I put her butt in the car (while whispering in her ear that I was going to beat her from here to Canada for scaring me like that). I thanked all of the kids and the mom that was out with her. The littlest boy, about 5, was apparently all ready to adopt her and make her his. He looked at me with a little sad face and asked me where I lived. I pointed toward my house and told hime where. Then he asked, in this cute little voice, if he could come visit her. It was SO sweet. He and all of his friends are welcome to come and see her any time.

We left and immediately went to PetSmart to buy her a new tag. She now has a new shiny tag with our new shiny phone number and address. All tired and worn out we came home to recover from our long and stressful day.

And Darby peed on the floor. At least things are back to normal.